Sunday 7/26 –Relief
Sleep measured in hour blocks. Girlfriend or Mom emptying my Foley bag; bless them. Time for Motrin, Colace, antibiotic, other scripts. Packing –both medical and body manufactured- increasing discomfort. Surgical packing pressing in all kinds of places in my pelvic area. Not possible to be comfortable for more than a few minutes. Crossword puzzle. Coffee. And then it happens…and happens…and happens JJJ Boredom suppressant becomes some crime or law show of varying names, with varying stars. Suggestion: install a VPN on your laptop to surf internet more safely, don’t trust the open hotel wifi. Make our pilgrimage to the local exterior strip mall for meal supplies, walk the length and back, over did it L, Starbuck’ Frappuccino –WORTH IT. More and more ice on crotch. Will swelling ever go down? Why are there so many rainbow colors spreading??? My body shouldn’t be those colors. Girlfriend –normal, signs of healing. More walks around the hotel grounds. Bedtime.
Monday 7/27 –Ditto-ish
Sleep still measured in hour blocks. Mom or Girlfriend emptying my Foley bag; bless them. Time for Motrin, antibiotic, other scripts. Surgical packing pressing in all kinds of places in my pelvic area increasingly uncomfortable. Comfortable positions measured in minutes. Stand lots, feet want to be hands, if for some relief. Strap on the portable, 3oz Foley bag. Crossword puzzle. Coffee. Empty bag. Walk to breakfast. Empty bag. Boredom suppressant still some crime or law show of varying names, with varying stars. Empty bag. Confirm post-op for tomorrow, building anxiety. Empty bag. Hotel grounds walks. Empty bag….change to 23 gallon size, overnight Foley bag.
Tuesday 7/28 –Easter Egg Colors
Slept well, for first time in days. Mom or Girlfriend empty my Foley bag; bless them. Time for Motrin, antibiotic, other scripts. Strap on the portable, 3oz Foley bag. Surgical packing pressing in all kinds of places in my pelvic area increasingly uncomfortable. Comfortable positions measured in minutes. Neck pillow/butt donut flattening from over abuse, er, use.
Nervously anticipating the removal of the Foley tube(GONNA HURT!!) packing removal(HURT?? TICKLE?? BLEND??). Moment of truth, focus on music in background, deflate balloon(WHAT?!?!?) now pull out Foley tube –stings! Over in a moment though. Packing next, 33-foot long pincers glide in, aimed in my newly created genital area! Tease out a tail of packing. Eyes closed, don’t want to look at the magician’s trick taking place in my crotch. Tickles? Not unpleasant, feels unusual. Event is over. More comfortable sitting already. Picture sent to surgeon –“Nice Easter Egg Colors.” Is that a compliment? Apparently yes.
Dilation. Di-what??? So soon after removing stuffing, I need to put THAT inside me?!?! A solid hunk of molded plastic designed for pleasure in a certain sub-culture. Tip down, under pubis, straighten out, apply gentle pressure, gentle twist, push up to the penultimate white dot. Where is that IKEA cartoon instruction guy? I feel it in my throat. Do this three times a day for 15 minutes. All I can foresee is the sutures unraveling like a sweater.
Hotel and on my own, sorta. Sheet like a tent over my legs. Girlfriend cheering me on(don’t make me laugh). My mom a few feet away, consider embarrassment as a rational fear in this moment. Moms should never be around while their trans-daughters are dilating. Forty-five minutes total time for a fifteen minute exercise. Enjoy sitting on couch in relative comfort.